Where did you get a picture of my penis
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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