I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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