is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
