True but thats because hes a fetus.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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