just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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