white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
