So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
