I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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