the condom got lost in my hair
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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