I hope mine doesn't look like that
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
