Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
