your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She bit a glass in half.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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