well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
