but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
