therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
