I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Where is the hickey?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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