Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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