My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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