I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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