I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
