I wannas sexs uuuuu
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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