fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
