oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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