what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
