A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
