we're chasing vodka with high fives
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
