Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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