I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
