I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
