I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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