yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
