Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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