yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
