So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
