All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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