can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i love accidental penises.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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