please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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