I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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