Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
