just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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