I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
