I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
