AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
