Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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