i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
