so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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