i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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