I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
