I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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