I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
