He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
